DREAM.

I swear it really felt like a dream. and I wish it was.
i'm so sorry, I really am.
idk what's it that kept me hanging onto him either.
but I just couldn't get over it yet. but I'm trying. :(
the previous minute he was talking to me and I swear I felt damn happy. happier than happy.
and the next minute, this confession.
I was like, omgod.
the contrast of feeling was very obvious and clear.
I'm certain who I really like.

I'm not worth it and you seriously deserve better. :(
I know it's not abt qualities. k take it as I've low self-esteem then.

I don't want to hurt you. you're way too fine.
I don't want to waste your time, honestly.
I don't want to make you a "substitute" for me to forget him.
I don't want to force myself to go with you when I'm obviously not into you at all.
I don't want to distract you, you're here to study.
I don't want to lose this friendship in anyway.
I don't want to heed their advice to "try" not bec I'm stubborn.
I see what's gonna happen next. nothing good.
I don't want to "培养感情" cause I want the feeling beforehand and not after.
just bec they say we are going to be perfect together, it doesn't make us a perfect match.
it's better to stay like this.

I'm sorry that you know abt him.
and i swear every single word you've said made me damn guilty.
I felt like slapping myself.
SIGHHH HOW?????? :(

Labels: damn it